I have a parental relationship with my family of seven cherished cats, which is reciprocated by them. We love them as much as anyone (or more!) but these are children who live five times less long. The love doesn’t end and is worth having. Being together, if we pay attention here & now and savour all of it, cancels brevity by being wonderfully full.
The unthinkable hit us July 31. My cats are my brightest joys. All I ask is full lifetimes; that they reach their twenties or at least become elderly. One of the four born here, not 4 years-old until this Sunday, September 7, inexplicably died. The nearest vet I phoned was unworried and said I needed a major vet, if there were a problem. The options were an after hours drive to the city, or watching him and going in the morning. He died in hours. For weeks there was guilt: “How could I not save my son, the only time he had a problem”! It could only be natural and without remedy: a stopped body system. My fiancé believes it was his time, 20 years too early.
LOVE RIEDEL (this May 2014).
Most anguish is resolved because I’m reassured God didn’t pick on us. Terrible things happen, like loss despairingly early. But the rapidity and his age make it hard to grasp he’s gone. I gaze at his face and wonder how could he not be here? What’s left is getting through the kittens’ September 7 birthday, kittens I’ve been with EVERY DAY ever since they first breathed in 2010! A month is a long time without our son, Love. I’m expressing this news because he is worth knowing. I at least have the power to share how special he is. To garner support from you who understand, or strive to. I don’t have to explain cats for anyone to understand what Love means to us. Everybody has someone who is the centre of their life, whom they would be aggrieved to lose. Telling you that this is mine, under the most peaceful circumstances God could contrive, can be understood.
I wish he hadn’t stopped at 1/5 of his lifespan. But future writings about Lovey will be happy stories to acquaint him with. Our years don’t matter were full and paid attention to, in the moment! I notice every time a cat sits next to me and shower them with affection. I strongly remember petting Love before I let him out the day before, saying I love him. I always paused to take all of these daily joys in. I smile when they walk up to me in the gardens or lawn. I always speak with and play with them. It struck me that four years of photographs, highlighting many of our activities, overflow! Lovey is our largest but wonderfully gentle, respectful, and loyal. He is named Love because he GAVE so much love since he was a newborn. He placed a bright light of joy in our family, so bright: it is permanent. When we’re through the grief, especially the shock of an unforeseen passing, I hope to notice his presence in all non-physical forms, a great deal more. Especially his bright smiling light that doesn’t extinguish, any more than our reciprocated love.
Nov 2010: LOVEY (lap), CONAN (orange/white), PETAL (orange), ANGEL (white).
May we face the birthday, find it hopeful! We will honour Lovey and his three siblings, also celebrating this birthday! His sisters Angel, Petal, and brother Conan will officially be four, as we will refer to Lovey’s age. As sad as we are by this special group being broken (a litter seldom has a home together with their Mom), the rest of them are here. Their Mom is Marigold and our elder cats are McCartney and Spirit. Each of them and my spouse, all adore and remember Love well. My parents are going to celebrate with us this Sunday. Our cats have been their Grandchildren, well before a brother provided a human Granddaughter! ;) I will be grateful for warm words from you. Yours truly, Carolyn.
RIEDEL FASCINATION 
Oh no! So sorry to hear! :(
Thank you so much, Marc-André and Nina! I know it wasn’t our fault he died young or fast. Parfois, c’est la vie qui se présente a nous-autres. Yes, I’m trying hard to switch from sadness to focusing much better on the happy parts. To my surprise, I clearly heard his voice near the west gardens, about an hour ago! Lovey doesn’t have a ‘meow’ but a distinct ‘ooo’ sound. No cats were near enough, who might resemble him or be that loud and distinct. It is just what I needed: “Don’t worry. I am here”.
It’s not easy. But remember all the good times you had and keep them close to your heart!
First of all, happy birthday to Petal, Angel and Connan. I wish them many more happy birthdays. It is so sad that Love couldn’t even celebrate his fourth birthday, but I hope his siblings will live long lives, full of Love. I was happy to read that from now your thoughts of Love will be full of memories of the happy times you had together, and not with guilt.
Hugs!
God bless you, Nina, for taking good care of me all this time. Now through this post, more friends, including new ones, are expressing their care and I couldn’t be more appreciative of them for that. I will never forget who spoke up to say something about My Love for us – never. We are calling him 4 years-old because that’s much closer to the truth. Yes, we won’t forget the kitties still here in the physical! Thank you so much for wishing the other children early, wonderful birthday greetings from Bulgaria!
So sorry for your loss sending love and light. Sometimes they will come in a dream so be open to it. Read our blog Communicating Kitty. Peace C and Scott.
I’m all into noticing the gift of a presence or message. I’ve received a few much more tangible than a dream! I’m grieving the physical loss and unfairness of early death. Of course while we are physical, that contact is obvious and constant and I’m sad about losing it, with a loved-one so energetic and young. Your kindness is uplifting and I thank you.
Oh :( I am dismayed to hear your sad news. I understand just how much you love your babies and how much each and every one of them means to you. I am glad that you are able to remember all of the wonderful times that you shared with Lovey. It is the memories that keep them alive in our hearts always… Very aptly named he is as his love will live on forever within you, his siblings and the rest of the family.
God bless you! I knew you’d understand, having mentioned an angel on your blog. I knew you must not have seen my e-mail, or news anywhere else; for you would reach out a healing and comforting hand to this. It was too soon for physical interaction to be gone but you bet, he is loved enough to live on INSIDE us. And a soul alongside us. He did meow for me once, an actual auditory phenomenon!
My heart goes out to you during this time. It is just as hard to lose a pet as a family member because essentially that’s what they are. Pray God gives you strength when you feel low. Love will always be with you though. (((HUGS)))
Thank you, Freda. A 20+ year-old cat, we would grieve but accept. Losing one of our youngest babies, born before my eyes, when they’re loved so much and cared for so well, feels horribly wrong. God’s strength, Love’s presence, and friends like you are what it takes to feel better, inch by inch. (((HUGS Back)))
What a beautiful cat Lovey was. Sending my greatest condolences to you and your family during this difficult time.
Thank you so much for honouring our sweetheart, Amanda.
You write so beautifully, reading it all the emotions of losing my beloved Eddie came back, gone just two years it feels like yesterday, hugs to all your beautiful babies. Thank you for a great site.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending my condolences to you and your family. :(
Thank you, Angela! I knew you would understand so it had to be a case of people not looking at subscriptions over summer. Rather than stew, I thought to try again for the supported I hoped for and rekindle with wonderful people surrounding me at the same time. I’m distressed I didn’t save Love the only time he was ever unwell but I’m fighting to assert I didn’t spoil fate. It was something major and many lose family members without warning. I’m mostly sad that it might be 58 years before I see him again. I could live to be 100 and I miss him, if you know what I mean!
So heartbreaking, they are like our children aren’t they. *hugs*
Thank you so much! I knew you were the sweet, caring sort and figured it had to be not catching posts over the summer. I’m so glad I approached you personally. Very comforting.
Your cats are lovely. Sorry to hear of Love’s passing. It’s the only downside of having pets. Good thing you got a lot of pictures.
Hi Deidra! It means a lot to hear from you. Thank you forever for your support. We just bought 11×14 enlargements for frames in our home and a few family Christmas gifts.